Late 2008…..the beginning of Signs and Wonders.
God is speaking to me in a new, powerful and blatant way. He knows the depths of my hurt and despair. He understands my pain. He see’s, knows, and feels everything I’m going through. I know there are times that He has actually wept with me. Holding me in His arms. Through it all, He was quick to let me know all would be ok. But, back then, I was so busy arguing with Him, I was so angry with what had happened that I was barely listening. This too, is something else He would have me learn in the months to come. He knew all that I was feeling and saw all that I was going through, and because He knows….I believed He reached out to me in a whole new way. I had been hurled into a deep pit, I didn’t like and I was darn sure that He was going to know how I felt. Yet, He already did, and it was His goal to lift me out and set my feet on the solid Rock that is Jesus Christ.
This is the beginning of the Signs and Wonders phase of my walk, indeed healing, with my God.
It was late 2008, and I was endeavoring to walk every morning. I wasn’t working yet as I had been a homemaker and needed time to get work outside of the home into motion again, and if I was employed, at that time, it was part-time, so I had time in the morning to walk. It was peaceful, refreshing and gave me quiet time with Him. And it was good exercise.
I walked the same route most of the time, varying it very little. Some days I rode my bike instead ….and clocked a few more miles, and marked some new scenery. One morning, around 7:00 a.m. or so, I was once again walking up Saratoga Drive. It was a slight incline, a wide, quiet, grass-lined street, with a vacant playground at appropriate intervals. The weather was cool, but with this being the desert of the southwest, there was a balmy warmth to the air boding of more toasty temperatures to come later in the day.
I got to the intersection of Saratoga and Mila and glanced up to check for cars. There were none and I started to cross the street, but I stopped. I looked across the street, but the sidewalk ended right where I was at. I thought that an odd thing and I’m sure a look of perplexity crossed my face. If I crossed the street I’d be walking in dirt, sand, weeds, rocks and goodness knows what else. I thought to myself that every day I walked this path, didn’t I usually go further than this? I thought I always walked to the end of Saratoga at Phillips. Hmm. Oh well, I shrugged and turned around and walked back home.
The next day, I embarked on my morning stroll once again. Up Saratoga Drive I went. I arrived at the intersection again……Saratoga and Mila and stopped, figuring I’d just turn around like I had the day before, but when I happened to glance across the street……there was sidewalk! I thought, what the heck? I checked for cars. Again, there were none, so I wonderingly crossed the street. When I got to the curb, I hesitantly put my foot to it:
1) It was there, and not just a figment of my imagination.
2) It was hard and solid. i.e. Not freshly made.
3) The date stamp in the cement clearly showed 2005. Wait!
This sidewalk was NOT here yesterday. And now, it’s here…today. It’s…just…here! Well, it darn sure wasn’t here yesterday! Hey! What’s going on? I stepped up onto the curb and walked this sidewalk that had not been here yesterday, and folks….now, put your minds at ease: I have never used drugs, nor do I drink. My worst vice is Hershey, and I’ve since even given THAT up, and wherein chocolate is good, I don’t think it’s an hallucinogenic.
That said, I walked that cement to the end of the street. Wondering all the way. I crossed the street to the other side and walked back down Saratoga on the west side of the street, all the while casting surreptitious, skeptical glances across the street at The Sidewalk That Suddenly Appeared. Out of nowhere? I didn’t understand, and wouldn’t for another six months.
In the meanwhile, you guessed it, I’m inquiring of God. “Lord, what’s up with That Sidewalk Thing?” He did not reveal the meaning. But, in His timing, He would. It wasn’t until six months later, on my way home from court that I would learn the meaning of, “The Disappearing Sidewalk”, as I now call it.
Now, Terry was always allowed to ‘phone in’ his divorce, they never made him show up, not once. He had quit his job and moved to Florida, a good 2,000 miles away. He claimed that it would present a ‘financial hardship’ for him to come to court, and so they let him ‘phone in’ his divorce. On the other hand, I had to go, 120 miles, round-trip to court………7 times. Through the arid, desolate desert. Highway 79 is a barren, forlorn, 2-lane road to Florence, AZ. It’s so far out that even coyotes get lost out there!
Be that as it may, on the speaker phone in court…..I had heard my husbands voice for the first time in a long time. He sounded good, like himself. In fact, he sounded so good, so calm, almost blasé about the whole thing. On my way home, down that lengthy stretch of 2-lane highway….in the middle of nowhere, I cried out to God. “How could he just sound like he’s doing nothing more important than phoning out for pizza, Lord?! Why!?”
Instantly, a remembrance was brought to my mind of The Disappearing Sidewalk, and my Lord spoke His thoughts into my heart, my mind: “Sometimes things aren’t what they seem.” The meaning of The Disappearing Sidewalk. Finally! And I calmed right down. My God had condescended to speak to me. The Disappearing Sidewalk had been a visual sign to me for something that wouldn’t happen yet for another six months.
Thank you, Lord.
Tomorrow? Another…..sign? I ‘wonder’.